A few years back, I wrote a post about 10 beauty commandments to live by and its been hands down one of my most popular posts, day after day. I think it might have something to do with the fact that we’re always searching for guidelines or rules to live by to simplify life a bit – or maybe not. Either way, I’ve been thinking a lot about motherhood lately as we’re transitioning into toddlerhood over here and have a big boy about to turn 9, and I’m reflecting on what I’ve learned, what I would like to learn and how I’ve changed. The whole motherhood experience is humbling and if I could boil it all down to snippets or advice learned from my last 9 years of being a mom, these are my 15 motherhood rules to live by.
15 Motherhood Rules To Live By
Ok mamas, here we go!
1. Always trust your gut instinct.
I promise you that when all is said and done and you look back on your life, you will never regret living every moment by trusting your gut instinct. There’s just something that takes over inside of us when we know something isn’t quite right, and going with those feelings will almost always put you right where you belong.
2. Don’t ever (EVER) forget about your own self-care.
Finally getting myself into a monthly self-care routine has been life changing for me and one of my most important motherhood takeaways to date. Don’t forget about yourself. In fact, always remember that you can’t help others with their oxygen masks until you have yours on first – the same goes with taking care of yourself in everyday life. Too often we all put ourselves on the back burner and it’s got to end.
3. Embrace the chaos.
There will undoubtedly be bad days and tough days and ones that you’re not even sure you will get through. It happens. Life is chaotic and being a mom means embracing the chaos and jumping in without a life vest on.
4. Don’t let mom guilt get the best of you.
We deal with this every single day as parents, always focusing on what we should be doing or what we would have done differently instead of all the good we’re fueling our children’s lives with. As tough as it is to see in the moment, I promise you’re kids rarely ever notice when you mess up and if they do….we’ll…they’ll forget about it after a good night’s sleep.
5. Be present.
This is totally an easier said than done kind of thing, as simple as it sounds. Life is busy and we all easy get distracted, but spending time (time when we’re not working on other things) with those we love the most is imperative. I wrote about being present when traveling, but these tips really apply to everyday life as well.
6. Focus on your actions.
Whenever I learned that I was pregnant with a girl, I was instantly worried about the negative things I might pass onto her because of my own insecurities, so I made a pact with myself to do better. I knew within my gut that I needed to focus on my actions and the way I treat myself, because she will grow to do the same.
7. Kiss those babies on the lips and hold them tight.
As controversial as it might be, kiss those babies on the lips and hold them tight until they’re bigger than you. You will never regret cuddles and kisses and that quality time that goes by way too fast.
8. Never, ever mom shame.
I spoke on a discussion panel earlier this year with Huffpost Parents about mom shaming and how we need to put and end to it ASAP and it’s gotten to be such an issue that this needed to be on my list. We all have opinions, but in most cases – they are better left to ourselves. We’re all learning as week go and making the best decisions we possibly can for our families, so cut out the mom shaming right from the beginning.
9. Always take the trip.
You guys: I can’t recommend this enough! I put off vacations for a lot of Branden’s younger years because I worried that we couldn’t afford it, but as he got older and we had another little one, we realized just how important these vacation moments really are. Never say “no” to the vacation because you can’t get that time back. (And if you’re looking for some pretty epic tips for traveling with a baby – I’ve got you covered!)
10. Do what’s best for you and you’re family as a whole.
Whatever decision you’re trying to make whenever you become a parent, make it thinking of you and your family, not what everyone around tries to tell you. For instance, I had to break up with breastfeeding because it didn’t work for me and ended up being the best decision for our family as a whole. (If you’re struggling with breastfeeding, too, here’s some breastfeeding solutions and pumping tips that helped keep me going for as long as I could.)
11. Dress up!
I suppose this one goes hand and hand with self-care, but equally important. We feel good when we set aside those yoga pants and get dressed up and spend to much time making sure our kiddos are dressed the best, but we need to do it for ourselves, too. I write weekly #momstylemonday posts (almost) every single Monday sharing tips and insight for budget-friendly, easy ways to keep you looking and feeling good in your wardrobe! (And to get you started, here’s 20 wardrobe essentials every woman must have!)
12. Capture all the moments.
Having pictures of everything is something that I always cherish as a mom. We did a beautiful newborn photography session when Blake was born and a pregnancy announcement session, too that I often reflect on with such a full heart. I encourage you all to capture the good with the bad, keeps those cameras handy – and most definitely don’t overlook asking your husband to snap some of you and the kids. I also have some great tips here from a famous photographer about getting great shots of your kids!
13. Read the labels.
Looking back on parenting with Branden, I wished that I paid more attention to labels on everything the way that I started doing as I got older. You live and you learn though, right? I just can’t recommend paying attention to what’s going in your kid’s bodies and on their skin enough.
14. Listen.
I’ve probably spent too much time talking and not enough listening. Make sure to hear what your kids are really saying, it goes a long way.
15. Don’t be afraid to take a shortcut if you need to.
Honestly our lives are so freaking busy that sometimes we need to take short cuts – it happens. Whenever we take these short cuts, we get to spend more time with the people we love most, so don’t ever feel like a bad mom for doing it.
What do you think? Would you add anything?
Fashionably Yours,
Allison
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These are all so great!! For me #15 is a total must especially during the busy school and work week.