This time, my birthing experience will be on my own terms – with a midwife by my side.
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Why I’m Using a Midwife The Second Time Around
If you are a mom or planning for a pregnancy, chances are that someone in your life has recommended that you watch The Business of Being Born documentaries. Like many, I didn’t feel like I had the “right” birthing experience with my first child, so after watching these documentaries, I immersed myself in research about midwifery.
A midwife is the traditional care provider for mothers and infants. They must pass a midwifery education or certification program, but they are not board certified the way an Ob/Gyn would be. Their care extends through preconception, pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum and beyond. While there are different types of midwives (direct-entry, nurse-midwife, professional midwife and more), one of the biggest components that they believe sets them apart are the communication and empowerment factors, as they strive to truly be present with their patients and connect with them.
My first delivery: without a midwife
I delivered our now seven-year-old in a hospital that is jokingly referred to as “the baby factory” because they work very hard to make sure their beds are filled and the Pitocin is pumping to keep it moving. I was 21 and uneducated about child birth. Thank goodness I had my mom by my side, a seasoned mother of four and pediatric nurse. She yelled a big “stop” to the nurse who tried to give me a Pitocin drip without ordering my epidural first. I, completely clueless, had no clue what that all even meant–until now.
Fast forward seven years and I’m almost 21 weeks pregnant with our second child, using a midwife this time around and delivering at a birthing center (an informed decision that I’m excited to share with people). It surprises me how many people have never heard of a midwife and how much educating I actually need to do when people ask me “Who is your Ob/Gyn?” or “Why are you using a midwife?”
Why I wanted a Midwife
My answer is simple: I want a different birthing experience with more individualized care. I want a care provider that can connect with me on an emotional and spiritual level. And most of all, I want to feel more empowered during the whole process. I feel like if I can get through this delivery on my own terms (as natural as I can possibly manage), then I can do anything.
Don’t get me wrong, I know there are wonderful Ob/Gyns that will provide amazing birthing experiences to their patients and that’s great, but for me, this was the right choice. For me, I felt an instant connection with my midwife, but sometimes it takes some “shopping around” to find the right person for you. As soon as we found out we were expecting, I took to the internet and poured myself into searching through midwife profile before making an appointment.
I’m only at the beginning of this journey, but I am impressed and happy with my experience so far. Overall, there is just something that I can feel within myself that tells me my experience will be different and fill the void of what I have been missing all these years when reliving my birthing experience in my mind.
Have you used a midwife or are looking to use one in the future? Share below
This piece was originally published in Mommy Nearest Magazine.
So true, Allison…i found natural childbirth to be very empowering. And it’s also less harmful for both the mother and the baby. Drugs should be used only when needed, not as a standard procedure. So many more mothers could deliver naturally if given the chance by the medical profession.
I had a midwife (the same midwife) for both my babies, and I had two wonderful homebirths!