How to Support a Mom Struggling in Public

 

Kids are challenging and no one is perfect. Here’s how to help a fellow mom struggling in public with a child – because we’ve ALL been there.

How to Support a Mom Struggling in Public

If you have met our little Blake, you know what she is a little bit of a wild child. Honestly, Branden was kind of the same way and whenever I was pregnant with her I kept thinking there was no way that I could have two free-spirited children, but here we are. In fact, as I’ve been working so hard to pack up our apartment as we get ready to move, I came across the leash that went to Branden’s little monkey backpack that we bought him at age 3 whenever we moved back to the city. I would keep the leash in my purse and if he got out of control, I would tell him that if he doesn’t behave that he would be strapped to me. His strong-willed spirit wanted nothing of the sort, so just the thought kept him in line. Fast forward almost 7 years later and I’m pulling my hair out thinking about applying that she technique to his sister. Mommin ain’t easy, friends.

During the week, we park hop quite a bit and if I’m feeling brave, we take the subway into Manhattan for some fun. With Chris working and me being alone during these times, I’m very often that mom struggling in public with a strong-willed child. Being in this position, and feeling my body turn hot and feeling a mixture of complete overwhelm and embarrassment wash over me (because I know what everyone is thinking), I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while.

First things first moms, we’re all in this together.

This parenthood thing is not a competition, we should be a tribe, whether we know each other or not. Why? Because none of us are perfect and all of us one time or another has experienced a meltdown in public – and it’s not fun. (Read: 5 Stages Every Parent Goes Through During a Toddler Meltdown)

So instead of looking at that struggling mom and giving her a nasty look because your seemingly “perfect” child isn’t currently acting up, offer her support. 

If you’re unsure how to show her support in the moment, here are a few things that will help (or not help):

• First of all: leave the child and any dirty looks alone. Kids will be kids and this is part of them growing up and find their voice.
• Approach the mom, ask her if there is anything you can do to help. This is so incredibly helpful and will let her guide you in the right direction. Don’t just jump in and do what you might do with your child, we have to be respectful of everyone’s individual parenting styles.
• Smile. Seriously, just smile.
• Don’t point or talk about her to anyone else in her presence. Just don’t even think about it.
• If you have already asked her if she needs help and she declined, don’t keep pushing it. This is probably because she knows it’s about to end or she’s about to leave. Either way, just let her do her thang and get through that tough moment however she sees fit.
• Don’t offer the child anything to eat. You have no clue what their dietary restriction are, if they are allowed to have juice or candy or already had a treat. And then whenever the mom has to tell her child no, the tantrum will just start all over again. DON’T DO IT!

Looking for more mom advice? Here’s the best I’ve got!

• The Ultimate Summer Reading List For Moms With Minimal Time
• How to Stay Focused on Family When Traveling
• How to Deal With Mom Guilt
• What to do When You Feel Like “The Bad Mom”
• Dear Child, I Will Nag The Hell Out Of You – Here’s Why
• How to Find Awesome Support Groups For Moms
• The Ultimate Wellness Center For Moms
• Why We Should Treat Every Day Like Mother’s Day

And seriously mamas, even I simple nod across the playground, letting this mom know that she’s not alone speaks volumes to a mom who is struggling. I promise. How do you show support so fellow moms? I would love to hear!

XOXO,

Allison