ADHD in Children: Our Journey

ADHD in children can be complicated to navigate. Sharing our story in hopes to answer your questions and let you know that you’re not alone in your journey.

ADHD in Children: Our Journey

As I  sit and start to type this post, part of me is going “where the eff do I actually start?” Do I start with the horrendous mom guilt that I didn’t take note of this sooner? All the phone calls home from school? The fact that our calendar is basically all filled with doctors appointments right now? ADHD in children is just a lot.  First and foremost, I will say that as we were going through the diagnoses process, Chris and I discussed me sharing it with all of you. We decided to wait and see what came of it and share afterward because if we can help other families, that’s always our goal. And second, Branden said it was alright if we shared for the same reasons.

So here we are, six weeks into Branden’s ADHD diagnoses and it’s been a complete whirlwind. It pretty much lead to me falling off the face of the earth. I’m happy to say that things are so much better on the other side now that we have a proper care plan in place and doctors and teachers who are supporting him. BUT, oh my freaking gosh it seems like it took forever to get to this point. So if you might have speculations about your child and are picking up on some symptoms of ADHD in children, please hang in there mama – it WILL GET BETTER.

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With Branden, he’s always been a super active, can’t sit still, talks a million miles a minute kind of kid. I always just thought of that as his personality. Then whenever he started school, he would get in trouble for speaking out, being disrespectful, not being able to sit still – the list really went on and on. But it wasn’t until third and fourth grade that I feel like his behavior got more of out control and yielded many, many phone calls home. Certain action worked over the years, but punishments really didn’t make a difference in his everyday behaviors. And not once did any of his teachers feel like there was a bigger issue.

So I wrote it off. I did. I admit it.

I figured that our boy was just burnt out from being at the bus stop at 6:50am every morning for school, home at 5:10pm with at least an hour of homework to do. I even wrote a post about how I felt the school system was crushing his spirit. Everything was a battle with him in the evening, too, but every cell in my body was just telling me that he was so exhausted and just run down from his school schedule. And I was wrong.

Then, we moved to Pittsburgh, where we felt like he was getting this completely fresh start in a beautiful school with so many more opportunities. How could things not change? But, the phone calls kept happening and his behavior at home was just awful. I was sick to my stomach every night and started my day with so much anxiety within me – worried about simple things like being able to get him to the bus stop on time (because it took him so long to do things). We tried essential oils, different punishments and strategies, and nothing worked. I started to realize that he couldn’t handle taking on more than one task at a time, had an extremely short temper, zero focus, and couldn’t even sit down to eat dinner. I tried to take deep breathes and be a calmer mom, but something had to change.

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I then attended his IEP meeting for speech at school and brought up that there might be a bigger issue. It was then that I was flooded with nods and information about how the school could actually do a full evaluation for us. I was floored. Obviously, that sounded extremely appealing because running him to a million different doctors with a busy toddler sounded awful. So I said, “sign us up for everything!”

They started the evaluation immediately and recommended therapy. That’s when we started with a therapist and got his official diagnoses: ADHD combined type.

Up until this time, I didn’t even know there were types. I was completely clueless.

We were then faced with different options with therapy, medication, and different school programs. Our first stop after his diagnoses was to make an appointment with our pediatrician and go from there.

I don’t expect what worked for us to work for you, but after careful consideration, we decided to go the medication route. However, this came with a lot of weighing pros and cons first. It does seem like parents are either for it or against it, and that there are more ADHD diagnoses now than ever. Believe me, that crossed our minds. Our doctor explained to us that it’s actually more proper diagnoses. We know things today that people never know twenty, thirty or fifty years ago. Medication isn’t being handed out like candy, it’s that more people are being helped for something more common than we originally thought.

For Branden, the medication has been a blessing. And not just him and us have taken note, but his teachers and guidance counselors, too. Instead of getting calls home about bad behavior, I’ve gotten gold stars and “best day ever” notes sent home. Are there still bad days? Yes. Will there continue to be? Heck yes! But the difference is that things are manageable. We’re able to work through problems in a strategic manner.

So where are we now? Continuing this journey.

I just scheduled his latest IEP meeting where it’s been suggested that we add in things such as extra time for testing, calm down time, extra move around time – things that will help him succeed. We were lucky enough to hit the nail on the head with the first medication that we tried so we are continuing with that and he’s been such a trooper with taking it every morning without a fuss.

Throughout this whole experience, there were two specific things that stood out to me that I want to share with you. First, whenever we were sitting in the waiting room for Branden’s first pediatrician appointment, our little fact-based boy shared with me how he had been doing research on ADHD and that there were more than 3 million people with it in the United State. He realized right away that he wasn’t alone in this, and neither are you. Second, when he was filling out his self-evaluation form, he noted that he is the person who is always the first to cheer others up and hates to see anyone unhappy. Up until that point, it was hard for anyone to see that emotional, sensitive side of him except for his family, and now it can shine through. For that, I will forever be so thankful.

XOXO,

Allison