I Want These Moments For Myself

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Maybe it sounds selfish in the age of over-sharing, but some moments I just want for me.

The other day, we wandered through Target as a family. Branden ran off to spend a Christmas gift card in the electronics section while Chris and I attacked anything and everything Keto we could get our hands on as it was time to get healthy again after holiday indulgences. Blake toddled along behind us and came across a set of Disney Princess nail polish that she became so captivated with that she was barely beckoned to the toy aisle whenever we passed.

It became clear that she had her mind set on taking the set home with us and nothing was stopping her. I’ll admit that in order to avoid a temper tantrum in the middle of one of my favorite places in the world, we obliged.

She happily came home to her little table where we allow her to do arts and crafts in the living room and proceeded to unbox the water-based nail polish and named all the princesses as she did so. This became a ritual in the days that followed.

Then one morning, I came downstairs to find Chris relaxing cheerfully on the couch with his feet resting on our coffee table where Blake was overjoyed to be painting his toe nails. Each nail was given a different color and she was careful to make sure that the color patterns matched on each foot.

It was a sweet moment.

A moment that in most cases, I would typically pull out my phone to take a picture or share an Instagram story. But this time I didn’t.

I sat there and soaked it all in, wanting nothing more to keep this cute moment for myself, to store in my memories instead of The Cloud.

I’ve realized that in the age of over-sharing that it almost seems taboo not to share. In fact, sometimes I kind of feel like I’m doing something wrong, especially as a blogger, by not always sharing.

I’ve written recently about how I feel like social media is changing our motherhood experience. Not necessarily in a bad way, but different. Social media is a powerful tool in so many different ways, both good and bad. We make wonderful friends online, keep in touch with loved ones from both near and far, and share, share, share. But I feel like there is so much more going on behind the scenes, stuff that isn’t shared, and that’s okay, too.

But if it wasn’t posted to Instagram, did it even happen?

I think my personal struggle is with this. This thin crevice of moments that I want for me and my family, but the power of sharing expectations are big.

I sort of teeter totter in between weeks of over-sharing, and then will go through a hiatus of not sharing at all. It’s like one or the other and not something that I’m good at balancing. Right now I stepped away from Instagram since Christmas because the pressure of posting the “perfect” picture is real there, and there are too many other important things happening in my life to focus on that.