5 Things That Surprised Me About Having Kids With a Big Age Gap

Our kids are almost 9 years apart. Here is what has surprised me along the way being the mom of two kiddos with a big age gap.

We had our son Branden pretty young, in typical military couple style. He has been such a joy in our life, but being so young, Chris and I still had things we wanted to accomplish before we brough a second child into our world. Whenever the time finally came, Branden was 8-years-old. This was what worked best for our family and honestly, it was one of the best decisions that we’ve ever made. 

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I sort of announced my pregnancy within an article called “Why I’m Thankful For The Age Gap Between Our Kids,” which was originally published in Mommy Nearest and then syndicated through Huffpost Parents.  This was how many of our friends found out we were expecting. 

We’ve gotten a lot of questions over the years about why we waited and a bunch of “wow that’s a big age gap.” I’ve gotten that comment so much that I’ve started saying something along the lines of “I know, it’s a big age gap,” before anyone can say it themselves. We get that you might be confused, but this is what perfect looks like to us. 

5 Things That Surprised Me About Having Kids With a Big Age Gap

As you can see, being 8 years apart hasn’t kept them from getting along or being just as close as they would be if they were just a year or two apart. Their bond is strong and the age gap has been a blessing. However, there are some things that have surprised me along the way. 

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1. How much Branden tries to parent her. 

This was honestly the big one that I didn’t expect, but makes a lot of sense. I guess because he’s older, he will try to interject and be the one to discipline her before Chris or I can get to the scene. I feel like this has been our biggest challenge (other than the fighting, see #3) as the kids get older because Branden has a very short fuse whenever Blake annoys him, so instead of just disciplining Blake, we have to also deal with telling him to back off, too. 

2. How close they actually are. 

I worried a lot about this whenever I was pregnant, but we were so happily surprised how close these two kiddos actually are and it’s amazing to watch. Whenever they aren’t annoying one another they will play and play and enjoy each other’s company. It’s exactly what you want to see between siblings and I’m so happy they have that bond. 

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3. How much they fight. 

On the contrary, they fight much more than I ever thought they would. I’m literally breaking up fights all day long. I guess the silly side of my brain thought that since they had this 8 year age gap that they would kind of mind their own businesses and be interested in different things at different times. Nope. Not a drop. The fight like cats and dogs, just like any other siblings with that “perfect” 3 year gap would. 

4. How nosy people actually are about their age gap. 

I know I touched on this earlier in the post, but oh my goodness are people nosy! And it’s actually pretty alarming to me how people feel like they have the right to ask “why?,” as if we did something wrong by having them this far apart. The reason it simple: because we chose to have them this far apart. So, it’s an easy answer for me. However, I can’t imagine having to answer these questions if my answer wasn’t so simple. What if we tried and tried and tried to get pregnant and couldn’t? What if we never thought we wanted a second child? The list goes on and on and people need to just stop. 

5. Just how thankful I am about their age gap. 

Whenever we started trying for a second child it was because the time was so right for us in our lives, marriages, and careers. That was our main focus. However, once Blake was finally here it finally hit just how beneficial it was. Branden was old enough to help out with things here and there. Branden was school aged, so I didn’t have to balance working from home with two little ones running one, I was able to focus on one during the day. 

I’ll never have to do math homework with two kids at once. I never had to have two kids in daipers at the same time. I typically don’t have to make special meals for them both at dinner. The blessings just keep coming. 

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Do you have children with a big age gap? I would love to hear if you can relate!

XOXO,

Allison