Spoons

This was supposed to be the post that I ended 2020 with, but that didn’t happen because I honestly just needed a break. 

This year has been both good and bad to our family on so many levels, as it has been for everyone. 

Chris had COVID-19 right after Thanksgiving, so the whole month of December was a complete whirlwind with the kids being off school and us all quarantined. And then, of course, the holidays happened. 

I have done the bare minimum just to get by these last weeks and have dropped the ball on so many things that I felt like I “should” be doing, even though I’ve been doing the work behind closed doors that really matters right now.

The past few weeks were scary. 

I watched other family members suffer from COVID-19 who were either asymptomatic or had it very mild. My husband couldn’t leave the bed for at least 4 days and I’ve never seen him like that before in my life. I worried so much and still do because we don’t know the long term effects of this effing virus and in turn, my anxiety has skyrocketed. There has been a lot of deep breathing and shutting down on my part lately as a means of survival. 

And then there is all these end of the year emotions that I seem to go through like clockwork every December. The goal-setting. The evaluating. The getting rid of what’s unnecessary in my life. 

I shared a little bit about this in today’s Instagram post (see below) and am going to work hard to make sure that 2021 includes fewer filters on our life, more of the imperfect, and more being intentional.

 

 

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A post shared by Allison Cooper (@projectmotherhood)

A huge part of that is getting my mental health in check. Which brings me to the title of this post, the word “spoons.” I have heard whispers of this term in the mental health community before but never really took the time to research what it meant and when I finally did, something clicked in my brain. 

A friend that I danced ballet with most of my life contracted COVID back in March and has suffered with chronic fatigue ever since. She shared a post explaining how she uses the spoons method to manage her expectations for the day. For instance, say each day you theoretically get 6 “spoons” worth of energy or focus or whatever it is each day. Some days getting a workout in can eat up 3 spoons, some days it can eat up just 1. Some days getting out of bed and throwing in a load of laundry can take up all of your 6 spoons. 

See where I’m going here?

So instead of being so hard on myself for not always being able to cross everything off of my to-do list, the first step for me in managing my anxiety is to have grace when it comes to myself and what I can and can’t accomplish each day. 

The key for me here is being able to accept that some weeks I will be incredibly productive, and some weeks the lengthy to-do lists are just too much. 

I thought that by sharing this method would hopefully help someone, anyone who is feeling similar things as me because it truly helps to put things into perspective. Instead of sharing my goal list as the first thing I post this year, I thought shifting my (and hopefully yours) mindset was a great way to kick off 2021. 

I’m also thinking of adding therapy into my schedule eventually (has anyone tried Talkspace? I’m looking into this!).

Have you ever used the spoons method? Curious to hear everyone’s feedback!

XOXO,

Allison