I think we can all agree that the world is a better place whenever we’re lifting each other up.
Other than the fact that we paid an obscene amount of money on parking, utilities and rent in New York City, one of the biggest reasons that helped us make our decision to leave was the lack of support. I’m not talking about the wishing we had family nearby to help with the kids (though we were wishing fo that, too), but the “I’ve got your back no matter what” kinda support that always ran between me, friends, and even co-workers before we moved there. I’m the kinda girl who always loved having friends close by to call at a moments notice to come over and hang out with a bottle of wine in our Pjs – no judgment allowed. Being so spread out in the city made those kinda of gatherings non existent. We also found that while people will say over and over again that they are there to support you, it really was a lot of “me, me, me” kinda of people that were in our lives.
I’m not saying that was everyone in our lives, but definitely something that stood out. There is no denying that NYC is cut throat and expensive (translation: you gotta be a lot a bit out for yourself, and I get that) and I truly do believe Frank Sinatra wholeheartedly that “if you can make it there, then you can make it anywhere” because of this. Maybe I’m just too nice for NYC. Who knows? But I do know that as we prepare to move again next month and plant our roots in a new state, I will continue to live my life by the “we rise by lifting others” mindset in business and friendship alike.
I’ve chatted about mom shaming in the past and have been so passionate about the topic that I was even asked to speak on a discussion panel about it in partnership with Huffpost Parents. I’ve also shared the importance of helping fellow moms whenever we see them struggling in public, even if we don’t personally know them. There is a very isolating divide in motherhood right now. Gone are the days of having a supportive village. Because of this, we all need to start shifting our mindsets to lifting instead of putting each other down.
I can’t help but think that with the rising rates of postpartum depression and depression and anxiety in women as a whole, that this has to be a little part of that.
As you all know, I struggle with anxiety and I know that whenever I’m going through tough moments, especially whenever I’m overwhelmed with the kids, there is nothing else that can calm me down quite as much as when someone else makes me feel less alone. In fact, I can still remember the first time that I experienced this whenever Branden was little. He was a handful, too, and I really thought that I was the only one dealing with pretty intense toddler struggles. I was at a blogging event in the city and Branden was acting up, and instead of judgement on that day, I was met with support. I went home and honestly cried to Chris, feeling complete relief wash over me.
Motherhood is hard. Being a woman in today’s world is hard. We really don’t need to be feeling less than, ever. That moment honestly changed me and helped me realize this power that we all carry around within us to help others feel that way, too.
The moral of the story is this: lifting each other up and encouraging one another goes a long way. We never know what someone else is going through and giving them a little boost could be all they need just to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It can help them follow their dreams. It came help them get through a public toddler meltdown. It can make them feel like super mom.
We all hold they within us to help someone else feel better about themselves. Can you imagine how beautiful the world would be if we all tried a little harder?
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What do you think, mama? I think that this mindset needs to be developed way beyond motherhood, too. Women as a whole will be much happier if they get a little support from fellow women on a regular basis instead of tearing each other down.
XOXO,
Allison
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