Editor’s Post by Deborah Hetrick Catanese
Usually, I revel in my tendency to wait until I feel “Christmasy” to make my holiday preparations in earnest. I rarely put the finishing touches on shopping or decorating before mid-December, when, hopefully, some snowflakes have started to fall to really inspire my Christmas spirit. But since December 14, 2012, my choice to linger in the anticipation of Advent has become far more complicated, when tragedy struck to the heart of our joy with the senseless stealing away of twenty of the beautiful children who make this holiday and every other day truly sparkle. And now I must proceed in my preparations for the homecoming of my own beloved young adult children, while I struggle with a heavy heart in spite of my best internal pleas to resurrect my joy.
The images of the precious ones lost and their funerals are continuous, and with each one comes another pang of grief, of deep empathy, of great despair. And in respect to everyone involved, I don’t want to turn my heart away. Yet, I know that if we let go of our hope and our will to hold onto goodness, we allow the twisted forces to demoralize us and truly take us down.
So how to soldier on?
As is often the case, the profound yet simple words of my fellow Pittsburgher Fred Rogers have helped, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.” Ah, Mr. Rogers…you are so right.
When my dear friend Laurie reminded me of Fred’s words a few days ago, a musical phrase from a Christmas Carol immediately leaped into my heart… “Oh Tidings of Comfort and Joy, Comfort and Joy, Oh Tidings of Comfort and Joy”, and the lyrical power of that song did indeed soothe me.
As a Mama and the holder of the Christmas tradition in my family, I will take comfort in all of these sage words and strive to regain my joy as best I can, even while respecting the appropriate grief that resides in my heart. I want to prepare with softness and truly focus on the essence of what we celebrate…the redeeming power of love. This year, let’s not be concerned about whether we baked enough cookies or who the first one to cross the finish line is. In honor of the beloved ones lost and the beloved ones still living, let us all be the helpers and allow ourselves to be glad in it. I’m gonna dig out my elf helper hat now, for the Beloved.
Peace, Love, Comfort…and Joy, Deborah
Well said, Debbie! Love, Cassie
Thank you so much, dear Cassie.
This is lovely. Thank you and Merry Christmas, Deb.
And also to you, my friend Gina.
Very soothing , you have shared a feeling of peace with this writing.
I tried, Linda. That’s really all we can do. Thank you for your kind words.
I’m so grateful for our friendship and for your empathy and ability to express in words what is close to my heart and mind. Aren’t we lucky to know how very cool
Fred Rodgers was? Here’s to all the helpers! Much love, Laurie
Indeed, very cool on many levels!
Beautifully said. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much, Sonya. I can see you wearing your elf hat, too.
Deb, I think “helper” is your middle name. You are always out there to help and I applaud you. How lucky I am to have such a dear friend! And, who could forget Fred Rogers, my husband’s locker mate at the PAA?!!
Ah, Vicki. Your words mean so much to me! And thanks for the reminder about that “odd couple” of lockermates, the soft-spoken Fred and the ever-exuberant Bill! Wish I could have heard the conversations those two shared!