These toddler years are tough stuff. I love the independence and confidence that this age brings, but there’s no denying that once a toddler tantrum creeps up on you that every parent goes through these 5 stages.
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5 Stages Every Parent Goes Through During a Toddler Tantrum
As much as I love watching Blake grow and all of this independence and confidence that she is filled to the brim with at all times (seriously, I wish I could bottle it up and sell it!), her complete decisiveness about everything has brought on at least one toddler tantrum per day and it’s not so fun. (I sometimes even show the struggle in my Instagram stories – so follow me here!) These moments are teaching me patience as a parent and I’ve been trying to flip them around to be teaching experiences for her, though it’s still hard for her to understand. I know you all feel me on these. They are just something that our tiny tots must go through until they’re able to communicate their wants and needs with us better.
First, how do I handle a toddler tantrum?
I’ll be the first to admit that I handle them a little differently in public than I do at home because… ya know…all the judgy mommies come out. When I’m at home, I honestly let her have the meltdown and walk away. Because when these meltdowns happen so frequently because she’s having trouble communicating, it’s enough to make you want to scream. I do my best to reason with her and then I just take a few steps away and take deep breathes. In public though, I do more to try to resolve the issues – my main point is that I want her to understand that this isn’t an okay behavior or tolerated. When in doubt, I have her toddler busy box handy and some inexpensive toys that help her recover and keep occupied.
How we really feel when a toddler tantrum starts
To offer you all a little bit of humor sprinkled in with these stressful moments, I thought I would break down those oh-so-fun emotions we all go through when it becomes evident that a toddler tantrum is brewing – something like the 5 stages of grief…with a toddler twist!
Denial
The toddler tantrum that started above was because she wanted to walk down the front of our apartment steps all by herself. I get that this is the “I can do it myself stage” and I truly relish in these independent moments, but whoa – they are tough, too! So during stage one, we start by keeping our cool and denying that it’s even happening. If we deny that it’s happening then it really isn’t right?
Anger
Then it happens, our stress level goes through the roof and we can feel our blood begin to boil. This is when anger ensues and when all those deep breathing techniques that we learned at Lamaze class finally begin to come in handy.
Bargaining
If the toddler tantrum lasts long enough to get to this phase, we instantly begin bargaining with them. Like if we give them ice cream or something they normally wouldn’t be allowed to eat or play with will help with the rage. Sometimes you get lucky and they get distracted, but most times they’re still laser-focused on what it was that upset them to begin with (even if we’re just trying to figure it out).
Depression
My toddler is the only toddler in the entire world that ever acts like this. Why me?
Acceptance
Ok…this is just the way it’s going to be from now on until he or she can properly communicate with me. I get it. I accept it. This is my life for the next 2 years. I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and counting down the days.
Looking for more honest motherhood? I’ve got you covered!
- Hacks For Making Parenting Easier
- How to Work From Home With a Baby Or Toddler
- What to Do When You Feel Like a Bad Mom
- How to Handle Mom Guilt
- How to Make Busy Boxes For Toddlers
- To The Mom Who Just Needs to Know She’s Doing Okay
- 10 Things That Are Beautiful About the Toddler Years
Fashionably Yours,
Allison
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