When Mom Burnout is Your Reality

 

This one’s for the moms who are so incredibly overwhelmed and over-mommed every single day.

Things I did before 6am today: watched Moana (thanks Disney+!), changed a loaded pee diaper with the pee sheets that went with it (thanks goodness the second set of sheets were clean), tore the pantry apart looking for the very last package of Little Bites, let the dog out,  and visited Blake’s Beauty shop where I got the Cinderella hair style and “purple lipstick.”

This is a typical morning for me –  all before I go through the grueling process of trying to wake up Branden and then begin the daily battle (yes, battle) of trying to get him to take his ADHD medicine.  The struggle to get him out the door and to the bus on time gives me anxiety just thinking about it. And yes: we have been called by the bus department multiple times about Branden  not being at his stop on time.

The constant mom shuffle of everyday never seems to have an end in sight.

And of course, these days, which seem to blend all together are sprinkled with a lot of military trainings and long work hours where I’m alone. Chris works so incredibly hard and I’m beyond proud of everything he has accomplished, but his work takes him away a lot of the time and it’s just hard.

And I feel silly even typing these words, because I’m the mom who wrote about preventing mom burnout, but it’s happening and right now I just don’t have much control over eliminating it, so I’m writing about it. And I honestly have avoided writing about it for a while because I almost feel like lately every time I open up my mouth to talk about my current motherhood experience that negative things come out, so I’ve shifted to talk about things I’m newly excited about and feel refreshed sharing, like my new Beautycounter business. 

But I was encouraged by a few friends to just open up and be my real, usually honest self – so here I am.

And I’m not burnt out because I’m piling on all the things. I’m not that mom. I don’t feel like our family or kids need to be doing or involved in everything. I don’t need to be part of everything happening at school. I know my limits.

I’m the kind of mom who ordered a few Christmas crafts whenever Michaels was having a sale and feels good knowing that if we do those, attend a few local holiday activities, and bake Christmas cookies with the kids that I’ve spread enough holiday cheer. I’m not a Pinterest mom. I’m not any everything-needs-to-be-perfect mom. I’m just a strung out WAHM who is kinda drowning a little bit.

I think I get so frustrated because I feel like I’m angry and snapping at everyone all the time, which I totally am. I don’t want to be an angry mom. I think a lot of it does circle back to my anxiety and I need to work on getting that under control better because it’s just not healthy.

But this is where I’m at right now. Motherhood is tough and we move through this sequence of dealing with the quirks that come with children at different ages and this season in my life is particularly challenging. But I also feel like I’ve been saying that for a long time now. When does it get easier?

Blake is on a waiting list right now for a local day care, so there’s that light at the end of the tunnel. I can’t imagine can imagine what I could accomplish during the day if I had just 2 full days a week alone. A hell of a lot.

And working is a huge piece of the puzzle, too. I honestly love to work but am so scattered with my thoughts, goals and organization these days because I’m just getting by and that weighs heavy on me. I want to do more, but feel a little held back and thats a tough emotion to play ping pong with all day.

So to combat some of these struggles and big emotions that I’m feeling, I’ll be probably definitely steer more in the direction of beauty content, sharing my love for living a clean lifestyle and bring the best of clean beauty to you all on a weekly basis. I hope you will stick with me for this ride!

Looking for more mom truths? You’ll love these posts!

• Why Setting Goals as a Mom is So Important
• Here’s What I’m Really Thankful For as a Mom
• Sometimes, I Need Some Space From My Toddler
• The Mental Load of an ADHD Mom
• What Wellness Means When You’re a Mom
• 6 Pieces of Advice First Time Moms Need to Hear

XOXO,

Allison