I’ve been ashamed of my body pretty much my whole life, and I’m getting sick of it. I can’t pinpoint exactly whenever this shaming of myself started, but I went into it in more detail HERE. I get it, I’m not fat, so I have nothing to complain about, right? Wrong! We all have insecurities that we deal with on a daily basis that cloud our judgement and lead us to miss out on fun things. I’ve talked a little bit on Facebook about my “bikini journey” this year and how I’m determined to make it happen, so I’m keeping that vow to myself.
Looking back, I have a very vivid memory of whenever I was 14 and went on a trip with my church to see the Pope in Italy. It wasn’t a luxury trip at all by any means, but a true pilgrimage and an experience I will never forget. We slept on the floor in a large middle school about an hour outside the city and would travel to and from Rome by train everyday. The trip was during the month of August, which is the month that everyone who lives in Rome leaves because of the unbearably high temperatures – so it was a bit toasty for us visitors. Anyways…we spent one afternoon at a local pool, everyone having fun and splashing around – all except me. I couldn’t bring myself to get into a bathing suit and draw any attention to my flaws, so I missed out. This has poured over into adulthood. Which leads me to my first point:
I’m sick of missing out.
It’s very simple, I’ve missed out on way too much by being afraid of anyone who might catch a glimpse at some flaw on my upper thigh or see my belly jiggle. Here is the new perspective I’m learning to instill within myself – the people who love you see your true beauty shining through all the time, and the people at the beach who might be pin-pointing your flaws are those you won’t ever see again.
Watching B jump the waves last summer.
I’m sick of making excuses.
“No, I’ll have so much more fun just watching you all!”
Sound familiar? This is a lie I have said numerous times so that I didn’t have to actually take off my bathing suit coverup. It’s an excuse. I would have so much more fun experiencing those summer moments with my family and friends, and I don’t want to be a spectator anymore.
I’m tired of covering up.
This is the reason why I have pledged to wear a bikini and not just a regular bathing suit, because I’m tired of covering up and feeling ashamed of my body. I have been working out 5 days a week for months now, that was a HUGE jump for me! And even though my body isn’t in the perfect, fit condition that I want it to be in, I have worked my butt off for that little bit of toning that has happened. I’m proud of the hours that I have put in and the moments that I pushed a little bit harder on my runs – all those milestones belong to me!
Do you miss out on summer moments because you are afraid to strip down into a bathing suit? I want to hear about your experiences – we can all help one another! Let’s continue this conversation on Facebook!
XOXO,
Allison
I wrote this same pretty much last summer, I’m sick of missing out! Love this and it’s wonderful to showcase this in orders to get other women motivated and inspired to do the same. I tweeted you a link to the #MySwimsuitStyle initiative/blog hop that is taking place 6/16. I truly hope you join us and share your story with even more women!
Thanks Maria! No more missing out, I’m so OVER IT! So happy to participate in this initiative and help spread the word!
I always wear a bikini at the beach – cellulite and all. I figure if someone doesn’t like it, they can look somewhere else 🙂
I’m so glad you posted this and joined in! We all have these feelings and when I’m feeling bad about myself I tell myself that we all feel this way and I work hard so who cares. I don’t want to miss out. That’s just fear. And shouldn’t fear be leaving the body when we sweat? Ha.
Have a great summer!
l,
Vicky
http://www.themummychronicles.com
Good for you! I think it’s important that we show by example that we love ourselves and the bodies we have been gifted to our children. Bravo!
Hope you have a great summer.
P.S. You’re beautiful.
BEAUTIFUL! I LOVE your bikini. The fringe is soooo cute! Well done for deciding to have fun and not be a spectator. You rock!
You have NOTHING to be ashamed of! Love the swimsuit! Enjoy your summer!
You look great, glad to see you have decided to share in those memories instead of sitting them out. #MySwimsuitStyle
Love this! I think you look awesome on your bikini!! you got this!
I really, REALLY love this! I’m always the one sitting on the beach with my cover up on and I’m not doing it this summer either! Thanks for the motivation!
I’m sure this will be the best summer yet! Let go & have some fun with your family! Hope to see tons of happy beach & pool photos.
I haven’t worn a swim suit since the 90’s. Good for you! I’m hoping you’ll enjoy your summer even more! Congrats on the workouts and the motivation!
Yea! Good for you! It’s time to get out there and HAVE SOME FUN!
I bared my midriff on the Internet last spring, and I was almost hyperventilating with selfconsciousness. So liberating, though, and I’m glad I did!