When we first registered Branden for kindergarten, I anticipated the ambush of the “PTA Moms,” knowing that there was no way to avoid it. No, I’m not an uninvolved parent, a slacker, or someone who doesn’t like to take charge—in fact, I’m all of those things. While I know there are some awesome PTA’s in existence, this isn’t the experience I’ve had at my son’s school. While I’m very involved in everything that has to do with his school experience, there were a few things about the PTA that didn’t sit well with me. Here’s why I’m deciding to “say no” and stay clear of this organization.
1. The “queen-bee” mom
Yes, we all have one of these in our lives at our child’s school. This is the woman who takes charge, is overly opinionated, and most times, doesn’t really care what you have to say. This was the woman who, of course, approached me. I could see her coming from a mile away. I get it—in most cases the school PTA wouldn’t thrive without someone taking charge, but I don’t appreciate someone who has everything figured out, then calls a meeting to get others’ opinions on the matter. It just doesn’t sit well with me. Quite frankly, I have enough stress in my life to deal with this added stressor in the form of a perfectly polished woman in high heels snarling at me. No thanks.
2. I’m busy
Yes, I’m busy, you’re busy—we’re all busy! I can make time for a meeting per semester, no problem. But when you are juggling activities for your kids, school, work, and everything else that life brings, it gets to be too much. I don’t have time for impromptu get togethers, bake sale management, or meetings where my voice pretty much doesn’t matter. Call me high maintenance, but there are just not enough hours in the day.
3. The horror stories
Being a part of the PTA has become such an aggressive experience that BRAVO has even created a reality show about it. I’ve avoided watching the show for these reasons alone, but can tell you that my sister got caught in quite the situation last school year with being cc’d on an email that she wasn’t meant to be. Long story short—there were some not so nice things said about my overly sweet sister that her son’s teacher had to come apologize for in the school pick-up line. None of that sounds appealing to me.
4. I like being involved in other ways
When it comes to my son’s school experience, I love to be involved on a “project by project” basis. Need someone to bake for the class party? Fill the goody bags for the holiday extravaganza? I’m your girl! I’m present for every class party and love to provide treats, crafts, or volunteer my time, but the larger scale PTA stuff should be left for someone whose heart is truly in it.
Are you a part of the PTA at your child’s school? How is your experience?
This piece was originally published in Mommy Nearest Magazine.
My wife is very involved but we have a pretty great situation. We dont have a “queen bee” and all the ladies get along really well (shocker!).
They haven’t lost sight of the fact that their efforts are all for the betterment of our kids.
I like the ladies and I don’t have that cringing response so many people have when the PTA is brought up.
I’ve even made good friends with some of the dads. I’ve gone surfing and fishing with many of them and consider one dad, in the same category as my oldest buddies.
Yes, we have a good PTA experience but I certainly know where you’re coming from. Thank goodness ours is one that creates a sense of community instead of drama.
I’m so glad that your wife had a good PTA experience Chris! I guess it’s different at everyone’s schools, ours is not on the great side!
I’m the helper: this year I signed up for recycling duty (it’s a dirty job!) and reading assistant. Both of those are right up my alley. 20 mins a couple times a month, tops! I’ve stayed clear of our PTA because it seems an outlet for the moms who left corporate America. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s also not something I relate to.
I wish that they had helper jobs at my son’s school – that would be perfect for me!