The Mental Weight on an ADHD Mom

It’s not easy being an ADHD mom. There’s so much to think about and deal with every single day and your effort isn’t going unnoticed.

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RELATED: What Foods to Eat on an ADHD Diet

The Mental Weight on an ADHD Mom

Monday through Friday morning are by far the most difficult for me, from 7am until 7:55am to be exact. I spend these fifty-five minutes pretty much in a state of panic. How many times will I have to run upstairs and wake Branden up? Will he scream at me again about eating breakfast? Will he give me a hard time about taking his medicine? My fingers are always crossed that he doesn’t spit it out if I lose focus for one second to tend to Blake. Then comes the struggles to get his shoes on and backpack zipped with all the homework inside and have him out the door in time to catch the bus. We try to have as much organized as we can the night before, but more often than not, this just doesn’t make a difference.

My worry doesn’t end whenever he walks about the door though because our boy is so pokey that he practically tip toes up the sidewalk to the bus and I never know if he’ll be back knocking on the door because he didn’t make it on time.

I try not to judge whenever my sister tells me that my nephew, only one year older than Branden gets up, packs his own lunch, makes his own breakfast and gets to the bus on time every single day. Did I mention this all happens while she cuddles on the couch with her 3-year-old and drinks her hot coffee? Every child is different, but I can’t help be a little envious.

RELATED: Our Journey With ADHD

The mental weight of an ADHD mom is no joke. 

We worry so much as moms in general. It’s just what we do. I’m so thankful that we finally got Branden’s ADHD diagnoses last year because it brought so much relief for him, Chris and I and his teachers because we now had a plan of action to help him in the best ways possible. It was huge win. However, there are so many layers to it all that would easily go unnoticed if you weren’t looking careful enough that goes well beyond just medication, reward systems and keeping him on task. There is so much worry for me everyday when we can’t even get through basic things that can make the bigger stuff feel so far away.

And everyday is different. Sometimes things go so smoothly that I wonder if I should stop with the constant reminders and disengage a little bit so that he can manage more on his own. But then the next day rolls around and I can see that he needs those prompts in order to thrive. ADHD is a puzzle that I’m learning to put together every day.

I’m not complaining. I would deal with all hard days if it meant that it would help him, but I think it’s important to point out that behind every ADHD kid, there is a mom wearing a super mom badge proudly, because it’s tough shit.

The phone calls home from school have greatly decreased since Branden’s diagnoses and starting medication, but we recently had to re-evaluate our plan because he was losing focus all over again in school (which I’m learning is normal). Like I said, it’s a puzzle and we must regroup and re-strategize often until we find the right fit.

But this piece isn’t about how much I care or how hard I would push to figure out the best plan for Branden, it’s about sharing my story with you all. From a mom’s perspective.

Chris recently started a new job, with new and very long hours. It will be easier once we move in June because he’s commuting back and forth to and from Ohio so the Branden can finish out the school year in Pittsburgh. It’s been hard on us all and we’re adapting. But, it’s left me in charge of the kids alone, by myself. Weekends and mornings are tough. I’m more often than not the hot mess mom, but I’m owning it these days. I yell more that I’d care to admit, take really deep breathes throughout the day and just know that at 3:50 whenever Branden walk in the door from school that all structure I had going with Blake that day gets thrown out the window and he has her running circles and chasing after him in no time. I have to make sure that I’m finished with work at this time of the day, too, because I have to be able to turn into a referee in those moments. I have to be all hands on deck at all times.

It’s just the way it is.

Looking for more mom life? You’ll enjoy these:

• Our Journey With ADHD
• What Food To Choose for an ADHD Diet
• The School System is Crushing My Son’s Spirit
• Dear Child, I Will Nag The Hell Out of You – Here’s Why
• 5 Reasons Moms Need Breaks From Their Kids
• How to Support a Mom Struggling in Public

So mama, if you’re reading this and already have an ADHD diagnoses or are just starting your journey – I know how consuming it can all be. I know that you’re pushing forward because that’s what moms do, but it doesn’t make things less complicated. Embrace all the good days and moments and just breathe really hard through the tough times. YOU are doing an amazing job!

XOXO,

Allison