All Roads Lead To Mom: Why the Pandemic Has Been So Much Harder on Moms

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Being a work from home mom most of my adult life, I learned pretty quickly why the pandemic has been so much harder for moms.

Since the start of this pandemic, so much had changed, especially for parents. There have been incredible transitions as many adults are now working from home, kids were homeschooled, and there is a looming uncertainty about what the fall will bring. Child care is not available right now for many, and the list really goes on and on.

And you know what else? Things have been extra tough for moms.

I’ve been writing about this and feeling it for so long and then whenever this New York Times article came out last week, it was if I had reached my own personal breaking point right along with the rest of the world.

All Roads Lead To Mom: Why the Pandemic Has Been So Much Harder on Moms

Being a full-time work from home mom since 2013, and Chris being a Federal Officer, not much changed for us whenever this all first started. He had longer hours, but I was working as normal from home and managing the extra stress of Branden’s virtual learning. I kept joking that I had been preparing for this my entire life because what was so new to so many people was my norm as a WAHM.

And then there was a really huge shift that started happening. Moms were losing their jobs because employers didn’t want to hear kids in the background (ummm what?!) and moms were working harder than ever. Yes, there are studies showing that dads were finally understanding what it meant to carry the workload of the whole household and working for your job at the same time, which was a huge win. Having dads everywhere start to do more housework is a huge blessing, but it’s unfortunately not going to fix the real problem: the kids always come to mom first.

Boom.

This is why we struggle. This is why it takes us so much longer to do things (sometimes). This is why we hold back tears of frustration so often. This is why we have the re-start so many tasks. This is why we can never pee alone. This is why we are constantly repeating ourselves. The list goes on and on.

It bothers me that it took an international pandemic to happen before people realized that this is a huge problem.

And it happens even if dad is sitting right next to the child. They will go above and beyond to seek out mom. And while this might sound endearing, it’s pretty much the equivalent to someone telling you that someday you will miss being up with your newborn at night. Newsflash: I don’t think any parent will miss being so tired they can’t even see straight. Morning snuggles? New baby smell? Yes! But we will never, ever miss being sought after day in and day out for every little issue that our children have, especially when dad is right there and available, too.

It’s maddening to say the least.

For years, I have said that I’m an angry mom. I always feel like I’m filled with furry. I love our children, they are my joy and my world, but I have now realized that I’m just always so upset about being constantly interrupted and being derailed from what I’m doing and then needing to refocus. It is the daily burden that I carry because it keeps me from moving forward with so much and that in itself is incredibly stressful.

So yes, all roads lead to mom.

Now that more and more moms are working from home without childcare, there is an awakening of sorts. People are noting just how difficult this shit is and hopefully, there will be some sort of better understanding and support for what we are dealing with on a daily basis.

And I can’t end this post without saying that this happens no matter how much of an incredibly compassionate and helpful partner you have. This is just a fact of life: kids go to mom before they go to anyone else.